Psychic Sigh

The day was everything I could have wished for. Perfect skies, a touch of light breezes, and no major responsibilities. Not to mention the reforging of links I once thought could never have been revived. But then I just had to look. Just one glance, I told myself. Of course, that glance plunged me back into darkness. Still, it is my fault for having taken the step. He is happy. Of course he is. Why shouldn't he be? *sigh* Is this what I've held him back from? I don't know. It still pains me, somehow. The years cannot diminish the strength of my love, nor can my resentment sully the purity of our connection. It is stupid to attempt to turn a black rose red. *sigh* On a brighter note...Seif has asked me out tomorrow evening!! *celebrates* For every death, there is new birth. J has changed much. *muses* I suppose one could argue that he isn't the boy I fell in love with, because of the many major changes. Yet I still stupidly hope that somewhere underneath the glamorous veneer lies the simple man who captured my heart with his innocent trust. *shakes head* I cannot hope anymore. I am too tired, and I have spent too long waiting. Some people have the courage to turn away and never look back. I can't do that. I treasure the memories too much to turn my back on them. J? Do me the honour of forgiving me for my past mistakes.