Psychic Dawn

The sun is rising in the horizon. Dawn. Daybreak. Golden beams of light that lance across the darkness like holy spears of hope. I am so weary...so tired. My eyes are bloodshot, and I feel a sudden need to move, to run, to flee from the despised heat of the day. Pain always makes me restless, it always grants me a certain level of energy. I used that to my advantage last night, but now Night is dying, and my strength fades with her. Even typing seems to require an enormous amount of effort. I feel hot, I feel cold, I feel light and heavy all at once. All the contradictions of the world seem to have collided in my being, and I wish I had just given in to the unconsciousness that had threatened to swamp me three hours ago. But no...I was so fascinated with the illusions my mind presented, that I forgot time stands still for no man. Three hours have lapsed, and I am fighting my need to sleep. I know what the problem is. I have spent the past two afternoons awake, enjoying the sunlight as much as anyone should, that I had forgotten I am nocturnal by nature. Two days isn't enough to knock my natural rhythm out of sync. As the sun rises, I should be abed. But I'm feeling like I should be normal for once...at least a week. Yesterday I was soothing ruffled hearts, calming troubled minds when I should have been replenishing my energy. Today I pay the price, and a hefty one at that. But I refuse to bow down to my own needs. I need no sleep as long as I can still draw on the ambient sources around me. My eyes are being stained a deep crimson as the veins thicken in my body. I have at least another hour left before I can begin my usual ritual of pulling in energy from stray sources. Still, it is not the same as if I had a full day's rest. I tend to lie about my sleeping habits, because there are no fixed schedules, and it is often too bothersome for me to explain. To prevent unnecessary worry, I usually pretend that I have slept along with the rest of the world at night, and this illusion usually fools everyone. But now that I am worn down to the bone, with a raging headache pounding away at my temples, I wonder what I can do to put a quick fix on this one. I need energy, and fast. I don't want to sleep, because I already know what I will see. Z, surrounded by blues and purples that stain his physical self. Blue for arousal, and purple for confusion. I acknowledge that it was I who induced said confusion in him. As for the shades of blue...*sigh* I don't know, and I do not really care right now. Is it too early for me to awaken them and seek energy? No. The world has already begun to rise from its slumber. My body still confuses me! *frustrated* I am hot, I am cold, I am tired yet I must run. My night was fruitful, but it appears the day still torments me. Hot and cold, tired yet restless. Very well. If I cannot find an alternate way to remedy my energy deficiency quickly, I will take a short rest. Enough to restore my zest, but not enough to trouble me with haunting visions of past and present. Oh, I am truly damned if I keep my illusions up any longer. Only I know how draining it is to keep lying about who I am. *sigh* Perhaps today he will tell me what I already know: that he is in pain. But until then, courtesy dictates that I play the ignorant fool oblivious to his emotions. The sun is already beginning to burn me. It is far too hot for my chilled flesh. I suppose I will retire to my corner and make arrangements from there. It shouldn't be too difficult, considering that I can barely focus. *sarcastic* Oh, yes. It seems that I have a recent addition to my ever-growing list of alphabets. A new guy, no one special. Maybe nothing, but he has caught my interest, at least for the moment. Invited me over to his place at 1 in the morning. *wonders* Well, if anything spirals out from this fascinating development, I'll be content to sit back and watch. My eyes are growing hot; a warning sign. I should take a bath before crystallising my plans for the day, else I will be wandering around the place with vampiric eyes and a werewolf's savage temper.