Psychic Pain

There are so many things running through my head now. I didn't abandon you, dad. In your darkest hour, I stood by you. I am not some miraculous angel, I know I can't make everything right in the blink of an eye. But dad...don't break my trust in you. I have faith in you, I want you to do the right thing. Don't walk away from me, from them, from us. Think about what you're giving up. Right now, I don't even know if I have the right to call you 'father'. I have lost one dad, two. You're my third. And I swear, you'll be the last. I can't lose you too. How many times have we laughed and wrestled on the floor, talked about the future together? If this pain that I feel is searing, I can't imagine what you're putting them through. So many questions I have to ask you, dad. 'Why? Why did you do it?' It's not my place to condemn you, dad. You're only human. But dammit. You're not supposed to be human! You're supposed to be my mentor, my guide, my father. You're supposed to be infallible. Am I still your son? Do I still retain that title once you sign the papers? Huh? I don't pray. You know that. But tonight, as I see all that I stand to lose, as I see what you're going through...God, I'm on my knees. Dad, I don't want to lose you. If you need help, somewhere to stay, I will always be here. You know that. So why are you running away from everyone and everything? This is a mess you have created. Now be a man and clean it up. If you need assistance, I won't hesitate to come to your aid. I don't want you to be wandering the streets outside, all by yourself. Come home, dad. Come on home. Don't do anything rash. I'm begging whatever higher power that exists...don't let any harm befall my father. Watch over him, and guide him in all that he says and does. I will push my pain away. I don't want to feel because I have no right to.
I know I'm praying for much too much, but could you send back the only man she loved?