Psychic Flow

I've got school tomorrow until 6 plus. Already dreading it. I'm still totally exhausted. Today went to eat dinner with Gina, Moomoo and Yiling. This is the second time in two days that I'm left feeling short-changed. And I'm beginning to think it's a sign. From Fate, from the guy up there, whoever. Whatever it is, I get the hint. So stop torturing me, all right? *sigh* I'm fine the way I am. I have flute rehearsal tomorrow. My mum called, told me to go, said I could get like 1500 bucks just for performing. Can you imagine? 1500 dollars in CASH just for playing the flute? Cool. I somehow think it was a bad idea to go talk to Aimi tonight. I feel even worse than I felt before I talked to her. Isn't talking supposed to be cathartic? Well, it wasn't. Talking about it brought back memories I'd rather have left forgotten. Some things just aren't meant to be. I can accept that, even if I don't like it. I've decided not to sleep tonight yet again. Instead, I shall FORCE myself to be happy. Do whatever it takes not to spiral down into that dark abyss called depression. I'll watch movies, I'll study, I'll eat happy food. I won't be a slave to my own feelings. Ok, my mind's going around in circles. I've given up on my story, which now has a 60page count on Microsoft Word. For the simple reason that even if I do get it published, my family would probably disown me. Things are pretty shaky for me at the moment. My mood swings are getting worse. Aimi tried to get me to talk about it, but...*sigh* Some things just refuse to get dredged up, you know? Everyone has personal demons they need to confront. Everything in its time, as Corrine May advises. I guess I'll just go with the flow for the moment. Drift wherever the wind takes me. Ok, my mood just swung again. =D Weird, but there you go. I read Guts by Chuck Palahniuk! Gross, gruesome, and a total work of art. It takes guts to write that kind of story, pun very much intended. It will touch every feeling in the emotional spectrum of a person. It's darkly humorous, it's got moments of sadness, it's basically written in a style which is very appealing. Minimalist literature, I believe it's called. =D I love my brain. It kicks in everytime I show signs of depression and releases endorphins. Kenneth! I owe you an apology...Yiling and Moomoo tricked me. That cow spilled curry on my phone! God, I was so stunned. Then, very very calmly, I wrapped my hand on his neck and squeezed his nape while Yiling cleaned my phone. Haha. My phone's clean and still functional, thank goodness. I'm considering going back to my alma mater for Teacher's Day. Considering how emotionally havoc I was back then, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. =x ANYWAY, I'm going to eat and watch shows and blast my stereo (yes, at this time in the wee hours of the morning. Screw the neighbours) study and see how long I can multi-task before I give up and fall asleep leaving everything on and blaring. There. Off I go.