Psychic Panic

I feel a tightness in my chest that won't go away. My heart is burdened, and has been so for many many days. It's now 3 in the morning. And panic is tainting my heart, misery clawing at my soul. I'm so tired of my lonely existence in this isolation of my own making. Will an angel come down to redeem me? I have my Malay oral examination tomorrow. Something I'm absolutely dreading. XP I can speak Spanish, I can speak French and at least be understood by the French, I understand Italian, I understand German. And yet it is Malay, the language I was born into, the culture I was raised in that I think is my Achille's heel. I seriously wonder if I can speak in Malay and be understood. I can debate in Spanish with Lihan, argue and argue, tease Seif and Kenneth in French, enjoy the beauty of Italian opera...and yet, I cannot speak Malay to save my life. Goodness. I sound weird just PRONOUNCING my own name. So now I'm spoiling my brain on Malay songs and reading Malay stuff. I refuse to be conquered by a mere language. What was invented by Man, shall always remain in Man's control! Or at least it ought to be. Hmph. Hmmm...is it ok if I start by putting that stupid quotation mark and going full steam ahead and english and closing my quote? I am so clutching at straws here. Difficile est tenere quae acceperis nisi exerceas. It is difficult to retain what you have learnt without practice. I have not uttered a word of Malay since last year. Well, not counting my own name. I sure hope my infamous luck will hold out. *crosses fingers* Hmm...maybe I should just go read idioms in Malay and pepper my whole examination with Malay idioms. I did that for English and I did pretty well. Huh. IDIOMS are the answer. Yes. YES! I am sho shmart. Ok. I've had a few packets too many of MnMs. THey sure melt in your mouth. YUmyuM. Oh GOd. It is now 3:20. My brain is so fried. Now I'm hungry for fried eggs >.<>.<>