Psychic Promise

As the weekend descends upon me, and imminent examinations threaten to shorten my already severely compromised lifespan, I find myself more caught up in mending loose knots and broken friendships. I cannot wind back time, although on many occasions I find myself wishing that I can. If I could have a superpower, I would like to be able to freeze time. Once I've reached the pinnacle of success, of happiness. To be frozen in time forever, in that state of pure bliss...at the moment, however, contentment has deserted me in favor of mindless despair and rabid paranoia. Now, before you run off with some skewed perception of me, know that my instincts are above average. I know when threads will part seconds before they do. I see the strains on the entire weaving moments before it all falls apart. And now I have observed the warning signs which have accumulated over the months. If you want me to be straight (ironically), then let me just say that I see, I watch, I observe, I know. But there is nothing I can do to change Fate's path. I'm a silent observer in the game of life. I've gotten so used to it that usually I'll just watch the person fade away into a fog of obscurity. I used to have faith in my intelligence, in my knowledge and breeze through obstacles like a hot knife through butter. These obstacles only served to slow me down, but they couldn't stop me. Well, now they've succeeded. If I fail this year, the only trump card I have left, then I've lost the game. Oddly enough, I feel the pressure, but there are other things I have to resolve too. I've made a commitment to the people who care about me to start caring about myself. I cannot live life with my head in the clouds, building castles on false hopes and unreachable dreams. Seif, I'll stop drinking. For real. Yushaa, Phoebe, Elina...I'll try my hardest to ace the exams. Aimi, we'll get over our broken hearts together. Kit...nothing either of us says now can erase the pain of what we both did and said in the past. I get that now. And I'm sorry we have to walk away from each other. But I will. I will do what you asked me to do. I will be happy. But these emotions I have for you will not die easily. And that pains me more than what you've said and done.
Spread my wings and let me fly;it's my turn to touch the sky.