Psychic Void

There are times when I glance up at the heavens, and see that even the beautiful moon and the bright sun are overpowered by the clouds. Darkness is all-consuming. And now the darkness borne of my misguided love have laid claim to my soul. Will the sun ever emerge and burn these clouds away? Will you take that step and turn around to see that I am still on my knees waiting for you? I cannot lie. I still love you. Even after the pain and heartache, despite them, BECAUSE of them, I know I love you. 'LOVE'. People abuse that word. Misconstrue it, obscure its meaning until it becomes vague and cliched. And people stop believing. With the advancement in age, in technology, in intelligence...it appears we follow our heads and not our hearts. If I am to follow my heart, I would find myself trapped in that golden age where all that mattered was your arms and the security you gave me. And then, I realise...you gave me security. But I didn't give you anything, did I? I was a heavy anchor tying you down, and when all you wanted was to be free to fly, I tried to trap you in my thorny vines. Well, the roses have wilted, and all I see are the thorns now. Because I know, love has its own brand of thorns. And I foolishly lay myself down on them. This pain...I wrought it in my foolishness to believe that stupid saying that we completed each other. We weren't halves of a whole. We were fractions, we all are. You stole my heart, my breath, and I am more fractured than I was before I met you. The weight of my decisions, of every word I've said laced with anger lies heavy on my shoulders, and it scars my heart to know that they will remain a permanent barrier between us. As the sun rises each new day, the memory of you will fade to the back of my mind. But you will never leave my soul, you will never free my heart. I can't do that. I can't lock you out. Because if, IF, you decide to come back, I will still be here, just as you left me. I will not move. As night descends on the earth upon which I stand, wherever I may go, your memory will burn inside my heart, an unquenchable fire, a reminder as to how painful the thorns of love can be. Grip a stalk of rose too tightly, and you bleed. I held you, and thus I bled. Will you trust your heart, as I trust mine, and listen to what it whispers? I would give up everything I have, everything I've achieved so far to hear your voice, soft with love, to feel your strong arms, gentle yet secure. They say that I am a dreamer, but since you've been gone, all I have left are dreams. Perhaps one day...you will return with the missing piece of my heart. But until then, I am condemned to spend my hours in silent regret, and hope that someday...someday. I can never free myself from this cage of thorns you've left me in, and I will not be foolish enough to try. But I have faith my love for you will assuage the pain the thorns inflict on my weak flesh. And I have faith you will come for me in time.