Psychic Questions

I could stand on the precipice of a broiling volcano, and I believe I will feel chilled. Such is the way of life. My heart has been thawed and frozen more times than I can count. I am considering going to the reservoir now. Yes, at this time of night, when millions are asleep, I am going to sit and ponder on the mysteries of life. I am not one to explain the logic that follows the study of mathematics, or the wisdom that follows the study of history. Logic and wisdom have never been the domineering characteristics that define me. I defy both with startling ease, and at times I shock even myself with such antics. Yet, when I believe myself to be immune to such shocks, a bolt from the blue corrects such assumptions on my part. How can people sleep when the night beckons, full of hidden beauty? The air is cool and refreshing, not full of the clogged polluted tension it normally secretes during the day when everyone is stressed and rushing here and there like oversized ants. Even the knowledge that I have school tomorrow does nothing to quell the desire that wells up in me to sit and be touched by nature. My fiery nature is momentarily tamed when I sit in the heart of a calm garden. Phoebe has ignited another thought in my head. Am I intelligent? Or am I delusional? Is there a difference between the two? Galileo himself was thought to be insane, and was, I believe, incarcerated for his proclamations that the Earth was not the centre of the galaxy, and that the Earth in fact orbited the sun. That his incarceration was later reduced to house arrest does not diminish the fact that his greatness was obscured by public ignorance. Perhaps, in the distant future, there will come a time when every man who passes by each other on the street will have a ready smile and a kind word for the other...instead of the insults thrown these days because of perceived differences. Black, white, red, yellow, gay, straight, bisexual, fat, thin...what do all these differences matter? When it comes down to it, we're all vulnerable. Who is to say one is superior over the other? We form a delicate balance in this cosmic scale invisible to those who have eyes clouded by ignorance and hatred. I can never forget the images of the days humanity was felled by calamity, and yet banded together in fearless defiance of fate. It has left an indelible mark on my heart, and I secretly applaud the day humanity threw all semblances of prejudice out the window and supported one another. Looking past the pain, past the darkness, I see the hope glimmering and the glorious humanity that separates us homo sapiens from fellow critters of this Earth. Sometimes that dark cloud seems so big that we forget it conceals a silver lining. But that silver lining seldom comes out and falls into our laps if we don't make an effort to look for it. Life to me is so much more than certificates, or the regurgitation of facts that defines an excellent student in today's society. I was never meant to be that student. I never will be. I have my head firm upon my shoulders, and my creativity will not be stifled. I may lack the predisposition necessary to become a star student (in my mind, these students swallow facts and spew them out like cows chewing cud), but somehow...I don't feel like a bad student either. Truly, when does the transition from student to teacher begin? Such a basic question, but one that has no definite answer. My mind wanders...a sign that I have to go to my sanctuary...that reservoir that offers me such timeless peace. I'm off now. That's all the ramblings I have today. Make of it what you will...and do give me a sign to distinguish between true intelligence, and deluded insanity. =)