Psychic Purge

The rain has been an endless flood; Heaven's siege against the filth of the world we live in. The chill air cuts like a knife, penetrating through flesh and bone, seeping into my very soul, fragmented as it is. So it begins. I have unwittingly shackled myself and bound my wings with yet another responsibility. Again, the urge to just break free and fly far away is almost overwhelming. I've decided to stick it out for the time being. It isn't particularly demanding, or challenging. I may never see the night skies again. Once this stint is over, I'll be incarcerated along with hundreds of other men. It pinches slightly, that fact. Knowing that my nightly walks have come to an end, that I may never again sit with felines in a garden that whispers under moonlight and blossom-scented breezes gliding around me. *sigh* The descent into normality begins. Today marks the second day of my return to society. Normalcy. Just another word for conformity. And heaven knows I hate conforming. Speaking of heaven...the storms echo what I have been trying to do deep within my heart. Except instead of purging the world of filth, I on the other hand, have been trying to cleanse myself of this emotion, of these feelings that I cannot for the life of me scythe away from my being. I fear it will never leave me, unlike everything else. *sigh* I can't deny that I am rested, having slept the entire day. Is this how it shall be now? I will forever be nocturnal (nautical? haha) and doomed to wander the earth only at night. Ah, I'm being dramatic. Still, my mind has already started balancing out what can be done to salvage sinking ships. There is much I can do, that I have to do, and I know J's reaction has been the catalyst for my rollercoaster emotions these past few days. Up and down, left and right. *rolls eyes* It is now 7:30pm. I'm already looking forward to 7:30AM, when I can lie down and sleep yet another day away. *sighs* Time for me to get up and get dressed, I think. I wonder who my partner will be tonight. *muses* I hope it's someone lively. I need the entertainment to keep my mind off darker paths. *siiiiiiighs* Time to go. It is small comfort that I have finally taken one tiny step in life.
Purge my heart of these emotions- "We're creatures of the underworld. We can't afford to love." How true.