Psychic Snapback

So much has happened. A mixture of both good and bad. I don't know if I want to talk about it, but it was not talking that nearly killed off my humanity. Drove me insane with the mental chaos, even if my illusions were in place to present a smooth, cool facade. After all these years...you still have the capacity to hurt me this badly. I'm not like you. I can't erase memories in the blink of an eye. I can't forget people just by turning my back on them. But my pain is tempered with the heat of anger. YOU of all people know what you did. I don't know how your conscience allows you to live that way, but then again...I'm not sure if you even have one. I still hate you for what you did, because it wasn't my darkness that drove you away. It was the one buried within your heart. I will never, as long as I live, do to another person what you did to me. You hurt me on our very first encounter at my house, when you came over on false pretences, and you hurt me when you left with nary a word. You still hurt me by denying the truth of what happened all those years ago. The least you could do was take responsibility for your actions. BUt you did not, you never have, you never will. I have changed my stance towards you. If you fall before me, I will do what you did. I'll turn around and walk away. You're not worth all this pain, it doesn't matter if people think I lied for whatever reasons you may have said. We both know what happened, and I will never ever speak of you again. You're just not worth it. You may have a new life, new friends, abandoned all your old ones, the people who care about you, but take it from someone who knows. You can't run from the phantoms of your past. You're just like the others from my childhood. I've not forgiven them, but at least they didn't add salt to my wounds by spreading malicious lies about me. *cries* I spent yesterday morning in tears. The same with today. I wish I could be like that. Just close my eyes, and erase the memories of what has happened to me, and the nightmares would cease. But I can't.