Psychic Insomnia

I can't sleep. Don't want to anyway. This is gonna be one of those days. Where I'll zip around town with no sleep and way too much energy before I collapse somewhere. *sigh* Ever had that feeling, when you build a house of cards? And you sense that at any moment it's gonna fall to pieces, leaving you with the bitter taste of disappointment? The stars are obscured by the clouds...the chill leaves nothing untouched. For once, I wish to turn away from the sun as it rises, a magnificent ball of fire that burns the mists of dawn away. Let me face my shadows instead of turning to the light. This darkness that has gripped my heart cannot be swayed, nor do I even wish to attempt to dispel it. Yet as I lower my head in silent prayer, to angels who steer clear of the darkness that cloaks my soul, I feel a spark, a tiny glint of hope. I am one who is much affected by emotion, whether it comes from within or without. Others may flee from darkness, from the night that so frightens them, but I embrace the cool veil of obscurity. Illusions do not matter when one is blind. And yes, I prefer that my heart be blind rather than be drawn in by illusions and false hopes. The absolute darkness does not scare me. White can appear black when the light is blinding. So you see, nothing is as it seems. I have no ability to halt the sun in its tracks, though, and dawn approaches. A new day, or so they say. What are days to one such as me? I have entire years at my disposal, and like the rich who do not know what to do with their money, I spend my wealth of time recklessly. Thoughts skitter at the edge of my mind, chasing one another and tumbling head over heels. Yes...I think I shall pay a visit to my piano today. It has been too long since I've played with a heart full of emotion. I grow weary of this endless game of life. Where are the thinkers? I am sorry, but I cannot help thinking that the world I live in today has become routine. Like mindless ants that scurry around without stopping to think, or admire the beauty that nature holds in the palm of her hand. And routines bore me more than anything else. The storm in my heart appears to have receded, at least for the moment. But I more than anyone else know how unpredictable the weather is. Ah. The hour of dawn approaches. Night draws away from the warm touch of the sun. The darkness, faithful friend that it is, fades. How wonderful it would be, if I could live in eternal night. But no. My cherished plants will die without the sunlight they crave so much. This is life. You cannot have one without the other. For the friends with souls of angels, those who enveloped me in warm love last night, thank you. No words can adequately express how much your gestures and words touched me. I face the new day battered and bruised, but very much alive. And that's saying something. *looks heavenward* It is amazing how the sun overpowers the stars in terms of brightness. Any astronomist will tell you it's because the sun is much nearer. So...with distance, the light grows weaker. We're too far away from each other, my love. Your light has all but faded. And mine nearly died last night. Perhaps it's time we moved in our own orbits. Yushaa, Melissa, Kai. Thank you very much. *bows*
Ah, Cupid...how you have cursed your old friend.