Psychic Departure

Well...it looks like change is glimmering beneath the surfaces, preparing to welcome the new year and give everything a new lease on life. I went home today and watched Monster-In-Law with my siblings and Auntie Gigie. Then I went to my piano...and proceeded to butcher all the songs I tried to play. My mind cannot focus today. *sigh* Auntie's relative has offered her an excellent opportunity. Apparently her aunt married some Greek guy and now resides in Canada. She's offering to bring Auntie Gigie over to Canada too. So Auntie can work there and study to advance herself. Auntie Gigie's gonna apply for Canadian citizenship too. I was unselfish. I told her to go. It's the chance of a lifetime! One in a million and what-have-you. But see, if she goes...I can no longer return home. Because once she's gone, I won't have any allies at home. Not that I can't fend for myself, but...it's just...so sudden. And I know that once she leaves, that place that I call home will never greet my eyes in quite the same way again. I will not return of my own volition. Why should I? When every memory I have there has been tainted by sadness and every negative feeling on the emotional spectrum of man? Of course, there have been positive sides too. We've talked about every subject under the sun. She's like the elder sister I never had. I would be lying if I said I want her to stay here. I'm not that kind of person. I want her to go, to experience the world through a new set of lenses. The experience will broaden her mind...but there's this tiny part of my mind that is whispering..."Why is everyone leaving?" I know...I've lost too many people, and I don't want to relive the pain by listing them all out here. I'll just ignore this pain and continue with my own life. Life goes on, dudes and dudettes. Life goes on. Well, I helped my dad clean the basement today. We stuffed some junk under the stairs after I got a lungful of dust and a healthy dose of cobwebs. I think my ties with my family are improving. *thoughtful* I guess...what you lose shall be replaced to hold the balance. To my aunt/sister/friend/confidante...may you be happy in your new life in Canada. Au revoir, and bon voyage.
My heart hurts from all these departures.