Psychic Mentor

Recent events have forced me to turn around and examine my history. It is a dark and winding path that my mind simply refuses to revisit, yet there are certain key events that I've buried deep within me; it is these demons that I must face and banish for good. But I am not foolish enough to believe my reasons for coming back are entirely altruistic. No, I have accepted that I need his guidance, something I have long forgotten, his warmth, his eternal comfort. Yet the question remains...will he still be there? *tilts head* I do not think I will be able to handle the shock if I find the last link to my dark and unhappy history is gone. I have not been there in slightly over four years. Too much might have changed, and if he is truly gone, I will have learnt yet another harsh lesson in life: don't wait too long. I have waited for far too long to face these demons from my past, been too caught up in the new life I've woven for myself. Nonetheless, the time has come for me to step up to the plate. I will place that call tomorrow. I feel panic bubbling up from within me. What if he's gone? It's been so long. I have experience with the people from that side, and while I know they are entirely uncooperative to the point of rudeness, I will endure their acid sarcasm, if only to know that he is still where he should be. Some things are constant, like the sun in the sky, et cetera. But if he has truly departed...I will never forgive myself for not having checked sooner. He was my mentor, he is my mentor, my teacher, my friend. If he is gone, then perhaps it is a sign that I've finally grown up to be a man, and therefore must be mentor, teacher, and friend to someone else who needs guidance the way I did. But as I clasp my hands in prayer by my bedside tonight, I pray to whichever angel who will listen not to let him go. Not yet. There is so much more that I need to say, so much that I've never had the courage to say. It is useless to run the whole gamut of emotions tonight, when I have yet to ascertain his fate and position in life. I will wait until tomorrow. All I can do now is wait and pray. And if I do find him, I will not let him slip through my fingers again. No. Never.