Psychic Levitation

I may fall to my knees, but it goes no further than that. After much reflection, I decided that it is time I came clean with myself. I have lived a life of lavish extravagance, one I have taken for granted. Time is irrelevant to me, I do what I wish when I wish. This has afforded me the luxury of delving into topics both arcane and mundane, mind-bending and mind-numbing, scattered broadly across many subjects. Having travelled many paths, both metaphorically and literally, I realised today that I am tied down by nothing else but my own limitations. True, external factors may bar my paths now and again, but it is largely my choice where I go or what I do. It has always been so, and I will work to ensure that it remains that way. This realisation came in bits and pieces, a gradual awakening of the sensible part of my mind that I believed to be non-existent. After all, I am known as the kid who builds castles in the air and one who lives on hopes and dreams. I didn't need caustic advice from ill-advised persons, or suggestions on what could have been done to avoid such a situation. The deed is done, and I am tired of explaining myself. The reasons are many and varied, but to me, together they make up a whole picture that was logical for such a move on my part. Therefore I will not waste my breath explaining yet again why I have decided to take such an abrupt turn. The only thing I can do now is see where the road will take me. As joyous celebration erupts around me, I content myself with sitting in the darkness and contemplating what lies ahead for me. I've never been one to take the conventional path, and perhaps one day, I may rest in peace knowing I lived my life forging my own road, but that day is still far away. This isn't a mistake; it is an opportunity for me to prove my worth. The dawn draws ever closer, and I can almost feel the sun's breath warming the cold, still night. Yet my mind is active with solutions. I am surprised at how quickly I've recovered from this latest blow. Perhaps it is yet another reminder of how much I have changed in the span of a year. My mind is still busy sifting through all that I've experienced, drawing on a wealth of knowledge to plot an alternative route. This could very well be the turning point in my otherwise monotonous life. I have grown weary of being the only one. A hurdle remains, though. I have not heard from my parents, and the silence is keeping me on edge. *grimaces* While I was looking at my sheet music, wondering if my effort over the years will bear fruit on such barren territory, a thought flickered through my mind. Have I ever looked past the illusory smiles and sanguine words to see what lay underneath? Those who heard me play almost always mentioned the word 'talent'. Ladies and gentlemen, what exactly constitutes talent? What distinguishes it from mere practice? Is a man who reads broadly considered more intelligent than his peers? More worldly, perhaps? This is the key point of my sudden attack of the nerves. Talent, or long hours of practice at your chosen craft? Nonetheless, I've always risen above whatever chains me down. Levitation, the pseudo-scientific community likes to call it. And if I succeed in this, I will consider it the most magnificent levitation I have achieved so far. The two Davids (Blaine and Copperfield) pale in comparison. I will keep in mind the spirit of the Phoenix, eternal immortal flame, pillar of warmth and hope. It dies and gets reborn. I have been too careless with my abilities, and now I suppose it is high time I paid the price for that. This expense will not go unheeded, though. I will not allow all my mistakes, my past history to weigh me down. Each will serve to lift me just that bit higher. And rise I shall, from the ashes and ruins of the destruction I myself had brought down. Despair shall not cloak me in its suffocating embrace. I refuse to bow down.
The strength of an angel in the heart of a man.