Psychic Goals

A fiery burst of emotion exploded through me the instant I woke up this morning, and I have spent most of the day in front of my keyboard, getting my fingers into shape. I am determined to learn this most difficult piece, and Terence's words have helped to bring my fires to full blaze. It is nice to know that someone believes in you and regards you as an equal, regardless of your credentials, or lack thereof. Yet once again, I curse my worn down keyboard. I'm going back home tomorrow, to play on a real full-sized piano. With 88 fully functioning keys, thankfully. Two more days, and I will be able to play the pieces straight from memory. I have recently nurtured a growing dislike for my reliance on sheet music. Of course, a few pieces I have already committed to memory, but most of the time I am forced to lug around huge files of sheet music whenever I practice on my piano. My goal is to master and memorise the pieces by this Sunday, because that's when I play on the piano that has recently begun to haunt my dreams. I have been playing like a man possessed today, hardly stopping to draw breath, finally taking a break to eat when my aunt came back home at 7pm. My efforts have paid off, and I have memorised the piece that brought me to tears due to its complexity and difficulty. BUT...I am not quite ready to throw the sheets into storage yet. Tomorrow I will be going home in the morning, and leaving at night. I will not, I cannot leave my piano until I have accomplished the goals that I have set for myself. It strikes me suddenly, how very strange that six sheets of paper can have me weeping over my own perceived inadequacies. *shakes head* Never mind. Terence has been a great source of comfort to me, and now the only thing left for me to do is practice. On a sidenote, my mum has hinted that she will not be taking the piano with them when they move away from our sunny little island. Which means...what? I hardly dare to believe that I will have my piano with me in this room soon, but my aunt remains a great obstacle, and the warmth of my musical instrument can hardly ease the pain of watching even more people move away. I have already prepared myself mentally for Auntie Gigie's departure. Canada seems so far away from Singapore. Worlds apart, seemingly. *wistful* Well...I have rested enough. Back to my musical world, where the only things I need concern myself with are my fingers, the notes that float before my eyes and the music that fills my soul. My aunt is coming over at 10pm, and I have been designated as the delivery boy. *sighs*