Psychic Ramblings

I was lying down in my usual corner, having spent half the night reading philosophical musings, and rediscovering minor marvels. But as I lay on the cold floor, eyelids fluttering, my breathing quickened in tandem with my pulse. My temperature and temper went up, in contradiction with my surroundings. Suddenly energy was flowing through my veins, and I knew sleep was a lost cause. Thoughts chased each other through my head in a frightening jumble, and though my eyes are now red and tired, I know my energy levels are through the roof. Sleep will not come tonight. I have a wealth of knowledge immortalised in tomes within my reach, I have a body pulsing with frantic energy, and my interests have been rekindled. Do the math. I have an entire day left, before I slough off my shell, shed my skin and step into the sunlight as an entirely new person. Now, bear with me if my words at this point become vague and ambiguous. As I see it, I have two choices. Either I retain the skills and knowledge from my experiences and previous events, and utilise them in my new life, or I discard them completely and can then safely say I am truly a new character. Each has its own pros and cons, though I must admit I am loath to disregard years of mental silence and training. The thing about most of humanity is...we are never silent inside. Everytime I step out of the house, I feel immediately weary from the many thoughts and emotions that pollute the very air. *sigh* I am weary now, and I must face the prospect of giving up my gifts in favour of a more...mundane, humdrum life. In other words, normal. Eeck. Can you imagine? Me, not writing, not seated at the piano, not devouring works of great artists, be they musical or literary. I cannot imagine myself doing none of those things. Already, I've started planning for a new vast library of music and words. Yet if the challenge set before me would be to shut my intellect off, turn my mind down to 'low' and go about life as a robotic zombie, then perhaps that is the only option available to me. It is now March, and the day that marks my birth into this world draws ever closer. *sigh* I suppose this year will be no different from the last, which I spent in tears. This year I start off trying to carve a life for myself out of dust and stone. I feel like the kid who builds castles in sand, or on decks of cards, only to have the tides of water and wind shatter his efforts. Time to build from the ground up. My energy high is still roaring through me, and I believe the night is not yet dead. Dying, yes, for dawn is but an hour away. But not dead. How often I have glided from shadow to shadow, a phantom in the night, observing the world as no one sees it. I guess my night time sojourns have come to an end, and it is time for me to evolve yet again into another form, another incarnation of myself. This...stage in my life, I see it as yet another test of the iron grip I have on my emotions. I have too often blended into the background, observing, watching the tiny gestures unique to each person, those that betray their inner characters. Now it is time for me to put my keen observances to good use, but not as a silent watcher anymore. I have not reached my goal, and while it annoys me, I have never backed down from a challenge. So there. The ramblings of a weary soul, at 5-ish in the morning. Now that my soul and the skies are considerably lighter, I will proceed to slaughter demons on battle.net. I hope the angels will continue to smile over me in the days to come. Hmm. I would say good night, but then most of you are already preparing to start a new day. Merde! It's already Sunday! *curses* The proverbial day of rest, but there's so much I was supposed to have done! *curses again* Crap. Time has pulled another fast one on me.
Fugit inreparabile tempus.