Psychic Illusionist

There are a few people, very rare, but they do exist, who can see through the layers of illusions I place around myself as safeguards. I am extremely uncomfortable in social situations when these people are present, because I know that regardless of what I do, they can see right through me. Three such men came to our family's first day of Hari Raya, and with all the people milling about, it should have been easy for me to melt seamlessly into the crowd. But these three men kept a close eye on me, silently scrutinizing my every move, and sometimes outrightly attempting to draw me out of my multi-hued shell. X was one of them, he came with his family and kept me on edge for the rest of the afternoon. The other two were my cousin and his dad. They weren't being obviously accusatory, but they were slipping in comments that left me with no choice but to engage them in conversation. I drew away as soon as it was polite for me to do so, and retreated into the relative safety of the kitchen. In almost any circumstance, the kitchen is always off-limits to the casual guest. Tonight, it was my shelter from the human storm that attacked the house. I don't mind guests, if the heat is not on me to entertain them in any way. Nor do I like being judged by men who can see through any smokescreen I put up. *irritated* And to think I used to have a crush on him. He was nice, gentle with me, but somewhat stern, and I didn't like the sensation of guilt I got when I looked at him. His dad smirked at me, and I got this sudden overwhelming urge to punch them in the face. Suppressing the suicidal desire, I held my breath and counted to 7, walking back into the kitchen. I'd rather take the heat of the kitchen than the heat of a few dozen critical relatives. I don't mind the oblivious ones, those who know nothing about me, because that's the way I prefer things to be. But for those who know about the very messy things I've done, and those who seem to know me at a glance...they're trouble for me. *shakes head* It seems as though I've exhausted my energy deflecting probing questions and screwing my face up into alien smiles. Still...it wasn't a total bust. I reconnected with lost cousins, and I've had my fill of cute guy cousins. I have managed to keep myself under the radar for the night, with only a few weird scenes. *comatose* I'm so tired I think I can't think anymore. Piano room tomorrow, and a nightmarish mental schedule to adhere to. Relatives coming over to Bedok, and I'm expected in a billion places elsewhere all at the same time. I'm going to sleep on it, and hope things will fall into place as they usually do for me. I was initially going to post some long, windy theory about dimensions and how I suspect that when I drift off, I peek into other dimensions...but then I don't feel like being deep and philosophically mindboggling tonight. Right. First day of Hari Raya=>Successfully completed. Round 2 begins when I wake up tomorrow. *crosses fingers* I hope I won't meet any more illusion-busting relatives who appear to do more than read minds.
Don't try to unravel the mystery of me. Some things you just were never meant to see.