Psychic Confusion

I hate the emotions churning in my being right now. I feel so damn conflicted. I was so pissed off at home. Here's the deal: Seif came over with his guitar, coz I wanted to see how our instruments harmonise. And it was fine at first, coz everyone went out. We hung out, pigged out, crashed around for a while. Was great and all. But then they came back home. So fine la. I dun really care, as long as they leave us alone. But Seif got the dreaded interrogation. And I was sitting there, getting more and more pissed off. Initially, I told my mum I'd be staying overnight. Big whoop. Then when HE dragged Seif through his whole inspection, I got pissed off and started packing my bag. I REALLY PACKED. I took all my music. Nothing left there. Nada. Squat. I'M NOT BRINGING ANYMORE GUY FRIENDS OVER THERE ANYMORE!! ARGH! It sucks. Seriously. I haven't felt this angry in ages. And I felt even worse when my bag started weighing me down. I feel bad that Seif had to go through that crap from my dad. And I felt even worse when my mum was trying to soften the blow. Great. And now I'm feeling wide awake. Adrenaline rush. At this time of night. Wonderful. Actually, it ain't so bad. Just that I'm feeling so pissed off. With everyone commenting that I keep stressing my Father out, I haven't gone to Sembawang. Probably won't be going anymore. *sigh* I have three houses, and I can't even feel at HOME anymore. Nothing feels right anymore. I'm just depressing myself. Eck. I can't keep living my life this way. I just want it all to end! I want my dad to stop avoiding me. Period. Ass lah. I'm feeling more and more disgruntled with each passing minute. WTF did I do to make him avoid me? The only PERSON i call Father. And he refuses to even remain in the same room as me. It's all...shit. Male bovine excrement. Maybe I'm just meant to be cut off from males in general. Who knows? Here's hoping for a better tomorrow. *snorts* Like THAT'S gonna happen.